Weekend funny

Today, a "reprint" of a bit of Raverly-related wonderfulness by Megan from BC, blogging (and writing the wonderful you're about to read) over at KnitPixxie:

Ravelympics Support Team Roles and Responsibilities

Dear Ravelympics Support Team Member,

You have "volunteered" to be on the support team of a Ravelympian. We understand that your participation may be under duress but we thank you anyway. Below please find an outline of what you are expected to do during the games.

1. Provide moral support. At times your Ravelympian may become frustrated and/or stressed. Signs are cursing, throwing the pattern to the floor in a huff or angrily ripping out rows of knitting. When this happens, tell your Ravelympian that he or she is a good knitter and is totally capable of this project.
2. Provide first aid. If your Ravelympian's shoulders, neck, back, hands get sore, provide immediate massage. Bonus points if you do this at regular intervals without the Ravelympian asking.
3. Administer legal drugs. Although Olympic rules on the intake of drugs are of course very strict, some substances are allowed. Keep your Ravelympian well supplied with chocolate and caffeinated beverages.
4. Be patient. Your Ravelympian will probably be neglecting other activities in favour of knitting. Time is of the essence in the Olympics. Refrain from commenting on the untidiness of the house or the unkemptness of the Ravelympian's hair. It is only for a few weeks.
5. Do not mock the Ravelympian. Olympic athletes are sometimes known to go to great lengths to achieve victory. Should your Ravelympian begin exhibiting behaviour you might call “crazy” such as knitting while crossing busy intersections, smile while guiding him or her out of traffic.
6. Set boundaries. While it is understandable that your Ravelympian wants the glory of Olympic success, he or she may become blinded by this goal and unable to think rationally. Watch out for signs that the Ravathlete has ceased to sleep or eat and act accordingly.
7. Stand-by for emergencies. During the Ravelympics, your Ravelympian may suffer equipment failure. Should this horrific event occur, volunteer to run to the yarn store to procure replacement needles, yarn etc. Put the yarn store number on speed dial.
8. Provide easy access to sustenance. Your Ravelympian will not want to lose precious knitting time to cooking, or, possibly to eating. Provide access to quick, easy meals. Finger foods are a good choice. Have a selection of take-out menus on hand. Extra points if you are cooking for the Ravelympian
9. Praise the knitter. Frequently tell the Ravelympian that he or she is doing great and the project is beautiful. A boost of confidence goes a long way.
10. Be the official photographer. He or she doesn't realize it now but your Ravelympian will want documentation of this madness at a later date. No really, trust me.
11. Love the Ravelympian no matter how crazy he/she may get.

What you get in return:

Being an official Ravelympics Support Team member can be rewarding. In return for your efforts you will receive:

1. The love and appreciation of the Ravathlete.
2. The knowledge that you have helped the Ravathlete achieve greatness.
3. The return to sanity (or something resembling it at least) once it is over.
4. A card to play during any future negotiations (use wisely).